“When will I feel like myself again?”
That’s one of the most frequent questions I hear from post-op patients. Recently I looked through journals from my first two years after my surgery. This exercise recalled that I struggled with the same issue. My second-year post-op was full of changes, my freshmen year in college. Not only still adjusting to a changing body size-wise but also the remnants of puberty and being on my own away from my parents.
I’ve lived more years after my bariatric surgery than prior. The first year, I didn’t quite feel like myself, but over time I learned (and continue to learn) that my body is always changing. This is what helps me keep perspective.
Appreciate your prior body and your changing body
It can be easy to demonize your old self, in a world that exalts dieting, extreme exercise, and weight loss – no matter the cost. Recognize all the beautiful memories you experienced before your surgery. For me, it included family vacations, first kiss, engineering camp, summers in NYC with my sister, doing a split at 400+lbs ( a skill I aspire to achieve again, one day).
Having bariatric surgery at 16, my pre-surgery body is connected to my childhood. When others try to talk bad about my old body, it’s not just body shaming, and it’s body-shaming a child. And I recognized I would never want to body shame a child or anyone.
By appreciating our bodies in their pre-surgery form, we can still enjoy those pictures and memories from the past. We thank our body for the wellness it provided to keep us going each day.
Bodies changing is proof we’re living life.
Our bodies aren’t the same as when we were born, right? I no longer have tonsils, but do I complain? No.
Stretch marks and loose skin will happen. Over time, our bodies inevitably change. When it’s happening so fast, it can be overwhelming.
Celebrate true NSVs
Non-scale Victories(NSVs), this term used to describe purely non-scale victories. Unfortunately, in today’s curated world, it’s become scale-based victories in disguise. Fitting into a specific size is not a scale based victory. Flying without a seatbelt extender is an odd but scale based victory, there’s no standardized length for seatbelts in airplanes. I’ve flown where I’ve had inches to spare; the next flight needs a seatbelt extender.
While one of the goals of bariatric surgery is weight loss, acknowledge the NSVs. Some of mine include:
- No longer need oxygen to sleep. No sleep apnea.
- Excellent blood pressure and cholesterol
- Not contracting type 2 diabetes
- Holding a Plank position for 90 seconds
- Able to do 40 seconds of non-stop jumping jacks
- Tricep extension at 15lbs
You might think the first victories are scale-based, but they aren’t. I’m still obese, and for some, bariatric surgery does not cure sleep apnea or other so-called “obesity diseases.” Bariatric surgery does alter the body in a way that type 2 diabetes will disappear, or effects lessen much. However, even that benefit is not weight-dependent.
During movement and exercise, celebrate being able to run up those stairs, stretch that far, lift that weight. Those abilities can be endurance training based then weight-based, surprising to some. My first time in a class, some are in awe that I keep up with good physical fitness. I’ve been dancing, swimming, exercising my whole life, my body’s conditioned.
Keep that in mind when you are exercising: bodies are different. If you lost weight and still struggle with some exercises, it takes time and conditioning.
Invest in your Mental Health
At the beginning of the bariatric journey, we spend so much
time researching the best protein powders, hunting down bariatric friendly
recipes, bookmarking clothes, and focusing on the physical part of the journey.
The mental part often is neglected. Usually, there’s one appointment that
serves as a psych evaluation, and then we’re on our own.
It’s invaluable to take care of your mental health. Writing in a journal helps.
I also recommend a counselor or therapist on an individual or family basis. Based
on your health insurance, it might be an untapped resource. Many colleges,
mental health non-profits offer peer counseling. There are also online options like Betterhelp.
What about bariatric support groups?
Support groups have their place, especially positive spaces. Often, there’s way
too much emphasis on the number on the scale and encouragement of unhealthy behaviors.
Complimenting me on my weight loss does not help when I’m depressed. There are
times when I’m frustrated I didn’t bring Tylenol to dance practice, or my
hunger is out of sync. It’s not just about the number on the scale. If you’ve
regained the majority or more your weight, bariatric support groups can be
especially tricky. Eating disorder groups can be awkward spaces for bariatric
patients.
Individual mental health work gives you the space to talk about bariatric struggles without focusing on weight.
Which of these practices are currently apart of your life?
How are you working towards loving yourself along the journey?
Let me know in the comments or on the ‘gram!